Making some last day preperations for the descent into the crypt.
Some notables:
City Court went well today. Better than expected. I'm excited and have a plan.
Superior court is complete, except to stand one last time before the judge and admit my guilt. No problem there.
I just last night, finished reading The Road, by Cormac McCarthy, the author of "No Country for old men". I haven't seen that movie yet and stopped by the library today to get the book instead. It also appears that the Road is being made into a film which can only dissapoint.
Get the book! I began reading at the coffeshop Quills on Sunday before church and finished it in just over 24 hours. It was intense. The prose superb. No doubt the story captivated me due to me seeing my world as scorched and decimated. At times, only the love for my offspring and their wellbeing fuels me for another day.
The Road follows a man and a boy, A father and his son, journeying together for many months across a post-apocalyptic landscape, a good few years after an unexplained great cataclysm has destroyed civilization and most life on earth. What is left of humanity now consists largely of bands of cannibals and their prey, refugees who scavenge for canned food or other surviving foodstuffs. Ash covers everything and the once great cities have been burned to the water line.
But the love between Father and his young son, especially given their distinct approaches to conflict resolution carry you along or at least it did me.
I'm starting "No country for Old Men" tonight.
Also picked up "The stuff of thought: Language as a window into human nature". Looks promising. Bestselling Harvard psychology professor Pinker (The Blank Slate) investigates what the words we use tell us about the way we think.
Think I'll make some eggs and rice tonight. Iced tea. Then end with a hot cup.
Sleep is returning to me and I'm feeling rested for the first time in weeks.
On a final note, as I was surfing for something to watch on the telle while I ate (I no longer have cable so it's a short surf) I came across TD Jakes and decided to listen. I caught the tale end, 10 minutes maybe of his sermon. But my butt was kicked hard in the right direction almost immedietly. I'm still chewing on the short excerpt but it was enough to bring me to tears and then, for reasons I've yet to explain, filled me with joy. Sometimes its good to lose cable and be left with all those grainy channels that can surprise you when you least expect it.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Heaven come down...
I've been thinking about heaven today. Alot. No doubt in response to my dying neighbors remarks that heaven just, well, doesn't sound all that exciting. I had to admit, by current standards it doesn't.
She's a workaholic really, a go getter who never sat still. The idea of harps and flying on clouds didn't appeal to her nor does it to me. We've all endured quite a few Sundays of long praise and worship songs. One after the other. The idea of enduring that for eternity doesn't exactly instill enthusiasm.
Ok, I'm a bit silly but really, who hasn't wondered what it is we all shall be doing? Once you get past meeting Jesus, Moses and David, Grandma and your crazy uncle....then what?
It's a common belief really. So many current ideas of heaven just don't excite the faithful. Like a party we just have to make but upon arriving think, hmmm, I could of done without but...at least I'm in with the 'in crowd'.
I can't really add anything since scripture says relatively little about heaven (really it does) and what we'll be doing in it.
But I can attempt to come at the subject from another angle and in doing so, hopefully get people riled up once again.
Eschatology. Fancy word just means the study of end times.
Scripture seems to call lots of events the end times or last days which doesn't help our understanding. Especially when 21st century Christians are enamored with a rather new and unique understanding of "end times". I'd argue further it's a lie.
Currently end times means, rapture, war, plague, chinese armies, secret chips, alliances, modern Israel and anti-christ (picture me yawning).
One of the things thats helped me along the way has been attempting (with the help of scholarly minds and writers) what a 1st century audience would have understood by the words, images and sayings in scripture. It was of course written to them by like minds. When I come across something cryptic, I do not assume it's answer lies in modern imagery, language or events, but rather in the 1st century.
Sure, this is alot of work. Piercing what people in the 1st century believed ain't easy. But its doable.
When Jesus and later Paul spoke of resurrection of the body, they were in a very small minority. The vast writings we have speak nothing of it and when it does it is not favorable. No one had ever seen it and the more common belief was that when you die, you cross the river Phoenix and become souls, spirits or ghosts. We don't come back. The Greeks found the idea offensive. Death was a release from the evil body. Why on earth would you want to come back to its limitations?
But Genesis tells us that the creation, all of it, was good. Many 1st century Jews awaited the remaking of the creation NOT its destruction. The idea of the cosmos coming to an end is no where found in their writings or practices. They did however expect Messiah to fix what was broken. This they awaited eagerly.
Sheol and hades were just a place of sleep. When we say that Jesus descended into hell, it's saying grave, death, sleep, sheol, hades. Hell is a place reserved for the unrepentant wicked. Jesus didn't go there.
How does any of this address getting excited about going to heaven?
Everything!
Jesus was resurrected into a body. He is the first of many. Yet this body is different than what we have now. Hence the many recordings in the New Testament of eye witnesses not immedietly recognizing Jesus.
Our hope is not in the sleep of death even if its in the presence of God Himself. It is in the life AFTER life after death. We shall be given new bodies in a new heaven and earth.
Revelation 20 describes heaven coming down to Earth, This is the 2nd coming. Jesus bringing all the saints of old, the heavens themselves down to earth. The earth is remade and so are we.
Do we not all pray the Lord's prayer..."On earth as it is in heaven"? This is the goal. Not flying spirits, or harps on clouds but remade bodies to inhabit, here on earth. We, the church are the advance party, to use a military phrase. The lead element of what is coming and we are expected to act like it. That's why it matters who you sleep with, how you treat the each other and the earth, why you strive. It isn't all for nothing so we can become bodiless spirits in the sweet bye and bye. How we live now impacts eternity because it is here we shall reside.
Still, what is it that we shall be doing?
Here I think the vast cosmos comes into play. It isn't out there for us to just gaze at and collect facts about. I think it's to inhabit.
How else will the new earth hold not only the billions resurrected in our own day and the future but the billions who've gone before us? Just a speculation there but a rather good one I think.
We gonna busy people, in new bodies, in a remade garden of Eden. Harps? How about instruments you ain't even seen yet! It will be challenging, amazing and busy. And it will be earthly and heavenly at the same time. Indescribale really. Maybe thats why whenever we are told of heaven, we are told it's like this or that. But better. Nothing here presently really describes it.
We shall see in total what our sin has done to others. How each mistake impacted anothers life. And when we can no longer stand it, we shall be announced forgiven.
Jesus is the apocalypse, the revelation, the fulfillment of all promises. The hope of all who've bled and cried into the earth.
When he comes, and all of heaven is behind him, the cosmos won't melt but be what it was always intended to be. Our home.
If that don't light your fire than your wood is wet.
She's a workaholic really, a go getter who never sat still. The idea of harps and flying on clouds didn't appeal to her nor does it to me. We've all endured quite a few Sundays of long praise and worship songs. One after the other. The idea of enduring that for eternity doesn't exactly instill enthusiasm.
Ok, I'm a bit silly but really, who hasn't wondered what it is we all shall be doing? Once you get past meeting Jesus, Moses and David, Grandma and your crazy uncle....then what?
It's a common belief really. So many current ideas of heaven just don't excite the faithful. Like a party we just have to make but upon arriving think, hmmm, I could of done without but...at least I'm in with the 'in crowd'.
I can't really add anything since scripture says relatively little about heaven (really it does) and what we'll be doing in it.
But I can attempt to come at the subject from another angle and in doing so, hopefully get people riled up once again.
Eschatology. Fancy word just means the study of end times.
Scripture seems to call lots of events the end times or last days which doesn't help our understanding. Especially when 21st century Christians are enamored with a rather new and unique understanding of "end times". I'd argue further it's a lie.
Currently end times means, rapture, war, plague, chinese armies, secret chips, alliances, modern Israel and anti-christ (picture me yawning).
One of the things thats helped me along the way has been attempting (with the help of scholarly minds and writers) what a 1st century audience would have understood by the words, images and sayings in scripture. It was of course written to them by like minds. When I come across something cryptic, I do not assume it's answer lies in modern imagery, language or events, but rather in the 1st century.
Sure, this is alot of work. Piercing what people in the 1st century believed ain't easy. But its doable.
When Jesus and later Paul spoke of resurrection of the body, they were in a very small minority. The vast writings we have speak nothing of it and when it does it is not favorable. No one had ever seen it and the more common belief was that when you die, you cross the river Phoenix and become souls, spirits or ghosts. We don't come back. The Greeks found the idea offensive. Death was a release from the evil body. Why on earth would you want to come back to its limitations?
But Genesis tells us that the creation, all of it, was good. Many 1st century Jews awaited the remaking of the creation NOT its destruction. The idea of the cosmos coming to an end is no where found in their writings or practices. They did however expect Messiah to fix what was broken. This they awaited eagerly.
Sheol and hades were just a place of sleep. When we say that Jesus descended into hell, it's saying grave, death, sleep, sheol, hades. Hell is a place reserved for the unrepentant wicked. Jesus didn't go there.
How does any of this address getting excited about going to heaven?
Everything!
Jesus was resurrected into a body. He is the first of many. Yet this body is different than what we have now. Hence the many recordings in the New Testament of eye witnesses not immedietly recognizing Jesus.
Our hope is not in the sleep of death even if its in the presence of God Himself. It is in the life AFTER life after death. We shall be given new bodies in a new heaven and earth.
Revelation 20 describes heaven coming down to Earth, This is the 2nd coming. Jesus bringing all the saints of old, the heavens themselves down to earth. The earth is remade and so are we.
Do we not all pray the Lord's prayer..."On earth as it is in heaven"? This is the goal. Not flying spirits, or harps on clouds but remade bodies to inhabit, here on earth. We, the church are the advance party, to use a military phrase. The lead element of what is coming and we are expected to act like it. That's why it matters who you sleep with, how you treat the each other and the earth, why you strive. It isn't all for nothing so we can become bodiless spirits in the sweet bye and bye. How we live now impacts eternity because it is here we shall reside.
Still, what is it that we shall be doing?
Here I think the vast cosmos comes into play. It isn't out there for us to just gaze at and collect facts about. I think it's to inhabit.
How else will the new earth hold not only the billions resurrected in our own day and the future but the billions who've gone before us? Just a speculation there but a rather good one I think.
We gonna busy people, in new bodies, in a remade garden of Eden. Harps? How about instruments you ain't even seen yet! It will be challenging, amazing and busy. And it will be earthly and heavenly at the same time. Indescribale really. Maybe thats why whenever we are told of heaven, we are told it's like this or that. But better. Nothing here presently really describes it.
We shall see in total what our sin has done to others. How each mistake impacted anothers life. And when we can no longer stand it, we shall be announced forgiven.
Jesus is the apocalypse, the revelation, the fulfillment of all promises. The hope of all who've bled and cried into the earth.
When he comes, and all of heaven is behind him, the cosmos won't melt but be what it was always intended to be. Our home.
If that don't light your fire than your wood is wet.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Day 3
As the evening winds down I'm thankful that I was able to spend a little time with two of my oldest sons. We enjoyed church together and then grabbed a bite and returned home.
Of course I took them to see our dying neighbor and friend, someone they have known and hung out with quite a bit. I wasn't sure if I should but since they wanted to say goodbye for the last time, I relented. It was hard for them as her condition has detiriorated further still. Breathing is assisted and labored. Gone is the wit and responsiveness.
Today is her birthday.
My oldest was able to approach her bed and say happy birthday but the next younger was unable. I could see he was holding in his emotions so we said our goodbyes and returned home. Sure enough both cried and we hugged and just enjoyed one another.
It breaks my heart everytime they return to their mothers especially when they are in an emotional state. Watching them leave stirs up lots of varied emotions. Some are not righteous at all and I'm left to ponder that in the now dark silence.
We all have a ministry. Factory workers, nurses, paperpushers and all. This comes from God. In the sight of everyone I must live out my life, warts and all.
This is the reason I blog. It's why I put out there my own struggles and hypocrisy.
My ups and downs. The gospel message tells me there is new King and I must bring my life and thoughts and actions into conformity with his rule.
No different than obeying the laws of the land I live in. Yet, this is where I falter. Obedience. My sexual desires, my lonliness, my drinking, my spending all must come under the riegn of Jesus. Yet, it is here that I don't really trust. My faith it seems has limits. And so I take matters into my own hands only to worsen my overall condition.
It won't be overnight, changing that is. Growing in faith can be a slow process accentuated by moments of bursts forward. It is this too that is a ministry.
Even in our deaths we minister to someone. Just singing out in church when you suspect your voice is out of key can minister to someone nearby who is struggling.
I am learning I guess to be thankful for all my troubles and turmoil. I am grateful for the discipline. And though the thought of entering a crypt for a few months to pay a debt fills me with anxiety. I will be thankful.
Of course I took them to see our dying neighbor and friend, someone they have known and hung out with quite a bit. I wasn't sure if I should but since they wanted to say goodbye for the last time, I relented. It was hard for them as her condition has detiriorated further still. Breathing is assisted and labored. Gone is the wit and responsiveness.
Today is her birthday.
My oldest was able to approach her bed and say happy birthday but the next younger was unable. I could see he was holding in his emotions so we said our goodbyes and returned home. Sure enough both cried and we hugged and just enjoyed one another.
It breaks my heart everytime they return to their mothers especially when they are in an emotional state. Watching them leave stirs up lots of varied emotions. Some are not righteous at all and I'm left to ponder that in the now dark silence.
2 Corinthians 4:1 Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart. 2 But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God's word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone's conscience in the sight of God.
We all have a ministry. Factory workers, nurses, paperpushers and all. This comes from God. In the sight of everyone I must live out my life, warts and all.
This is the reason I blog. It's why I put out there my own struggles and hypocrisy.
My ups and downs. The gospel message tells me there is new King and I must bring my life and thoughts and actions into conformity with his rule.
No different than obeying the laws of the land I live in. Yet, this is where I falter. Obedience. My sexual desires, my lonliness, my drinking, my spending all must come under the riegn of Jesus. Yet, it is here that I don't really trust. My faith it seems has limits. And so I take matters into my own hands only to worsen my overall condition.
It won't be overnight, changing that is. Growing in faith can be a slow process accentuated by moments of bursts forward. It is this too that is a ministry.
Even in our deaths we minister to someone. Just singing out in church when you suspect your voice is out of key can minister to someone nearby who is struggling.
I am learning I guess to be thankful for all my troubles and turmoil. I am grateful for the discipline. And though the thought of entering a crypt for a few months to pay a debt fills me with anxiety. I will be thankful.
Job 13:15 Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Day 2.5
Yea, so the transmission for my van was not ready (pulled off a junk vehicle) from the parts place I was conversing with all week. You'd think they would have said, "You need to put a deposit down for us to actually pull it". But no, what they said was, will have it ready for you Saturday.
Where I come from ready means...well ready. Ready for you to lift and put into some form of transportation and away from source location. To agitate matters, I didn't get there till almost noon which meant "ready" would now be Monday morning, after a deposit.
So, I ventured thru the alleyways of New Albany looking for a cheap car. I found this for $500....
Where I come from ready means...well ready. Ready for you to lift and put into some form of transportation and away from source location. To agitate matters, I didn't get there till almost noon which meant "ready" would now be Monday morning, after a deposit.
So, I ventured thru the alleyways of New Albany looking for a cheap car. I found this for $500....
I've dubbed it Bumble Bee after the car in transformers, which, my daughter especially will love. No need to remind me that the car in the movie was also a Chevy Camaro. I am painfully aware of that fact.
Needless to say I won't be dating much in this vehicle. But it will get me to work, home and is just big enough to haul the kiddo's. I'm keeping the van for now, in the hope that eventaully I will get it up and running.
One problem down. 18,976 to go.
: )
Day 2
And so begins the awesome spectacle of getting this here vehicle up and running.
This picture was taken a week ago when we were attempting to troubleshoot. The hope was that it might just be the speed sensor. Of course such an easy fix, a sensor, would most likely save us the hassle of removing the tranny. But you can't even reach said part unless - you guessed it - you remove the tranny. Thanks Ford.
Please note the professional grade transmission fluid catch by the front driver side. It looks like a crock pot because, it is. And yes that's a hotel in the background. I just like an audience when I'm showcasing my incompetance.
I'm not completely against the idea of removing the CD player and replacing everything else and if I spot a cheap hooptee for sale on my ride this am to get the used tranny that will hopefully work, I just might get it and scrap the van for iron.
Either way, I need to solve my transportation woes before I descend into the crypt. It's been a long week coordinating rides and apologizing for being a nuisance.
I liked it better when I was nuisance who drove.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Day 1
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
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